August's Ramble of 2016 - At Last.

NEWHAVEN RAMBLING & DRINKING SOCIETY

Ramble No 321 Friday 26th August 2016

“ The Malingering Lafayette Ramble “

Those Present: Matt, Froggy, Curly, Sandyballa

Those Not Present: The usual part-timers AND LAFAYETTE.

Prior to starting this bus-based ramble, we were informed by Laff that he was unable to attend because he had a “poorly sick knee” to go with his poorly sick knee and poorly sick foot. Could this be true? Was this former athlete visibly falling apart before our eyes? This is the NERD, lest we forget, who – to my knowledge – had only missed ONE of the previous 320 Rambles.

So was he genuinely ill or merely malingering? Did he just fancy a day off? The jury is out on that one.

So, just the four stalwarts met up at Starbucks in Churchill Square... SB got there first so took his coffee outside to enjoy the warm sunshine

and also the sight of assorted MILFS and Yummy Mummies who were parading up and down wearing very little…(In your dreams.Ed.)

After bolting our coffees we went off to catch Bus No 77 which was to take us off to Devils Dyke. We were delighted to find that this was an open-top bus so we scuttled upstairs and took our seats. Although it was very hot and sunny the views were spectacular as we left Brighton and started climbing The Downs. Wonderful – and all free with the bus pass!

Sitting in front of Matt and I (almost wrote “me and Matt”) was a chap with an interesting dog. Matt was fascinated with the mutt (an unusual thing in itself) and was told by the proud owner that the thing was a hybrid- a mixture of two breeds. Collie poodle, lab terrier or something. Ironic given that Matt is the only true pedigree (full Irish) [ Not true as BT also has an Eire passport. Ed.] whereas Curly and I are Anglo-Irish and Froggy is Welsh-French with a bit of Uzbek and Bukino Faso thrown in.

Anyway we decamped at The Devils Dyke Hotel and for a while watched the hang-gliders

doing their thing. Someone thought they spotted Paco doing some acrobatic turns but we couldn’t be sure

….Off swiftly to the aforementioned pub for a pit-stop pint.

Lots of customers and some incompetent bar staff. Two people to pour a pint- one to do the pouring and one to take the money. What? Strictly NERDS non-approved!

After wetting our whistle

it was time to start the ramble. Up and down dale

we meandered. Fantastic views. 3 out of 4 NERDS had done much of this ramble before,

many years ago. But for Curly it was terra incognita as he joined the NERDS relatively late in life.

After a mile or two we, of course, got slightly disorientated

and there was much scratching of heads. We asked various ramblers for advice and received conflicting advice. Eventually an elderly South African lady set us on the right path. SB wondered if she was the recipient of a Visit visa by himself back in Pretoria way back in 2003.

At long last (only really about 3miles)

we reached the fair hamlet of Poynings. We soon located The Royal Oak – which was familiar to some of us. Good beers

and good (although expensive) grub.

Although it has been thought that The Whip was a dead concept I did notice the existence of a mini-whip between Froggy and Curly. So some of the old traditions of the NERDS do continue to be maintained.

We are not The Dark Side 2 yet.

As ever the conversation was free-ranging. My notes indicate an animated discussion about the relative merits of different types of underpants.

Although my notes do not indicate who expressed which preference. No embark cards you see. Still, makes a change from medical ailments.

Time to move, but where to? The Ramble book indicated going on to Fulking and a pint at The Shepherd and Dog. Remember? No chips and Laf getting a Milf barmaid (Jill) to remove her clothing and him purchasing it. .Then again lechery and depravity have long been part of the NERDS DNA.

Some of us remembered Fulking for other reasons- the bloody awful climb up the escarpment back to the Devils Dyke

Not that this was much of an easy option as the way back involved a good deal of hill walking.

Inevitably perhaps there was a bit of a diaspora of the NERDS with people going off in different directions. For a while we lost Curly but happily he found us and we began the last push back to the start. Finding the bus stop

by negotiating some nasty patches of stinging nettles we again boarded the bus, climbed to the open top deck and enjoyed a blowy, sunny, scenic ride back to Churchill Square.

Nobody really fancied another drink in Brighton (the NERDS are getting old) so we simply said farewell and buggered off home on our different buses.

A good time had by the 4 of us. Pity we were so few. Never mind, quality not quantity.

Next ramble on Wednesday 14/9. Laf joining us ‘a velo’ as special guest. On reflection he probably isn’t a malingering bastard and seems genuinely crook. Sorry about the title then!!





Sandyballs